Like the last sunset so sad but so pretty.

I'm so fucking tired and there's no fucking milk in the fridge so I can make it. unless I have it black.. Which I mean... desperate time call for desperate measures..

OH GOD NO. I can't so do that. It's disgusting!

Curses Adam.. not telling me there was no milk when I went to the store last night.

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain

I like watchin' the puddles gather rain

And all I can do is just pour some tea for two

and speak my point of view

But it's not sane, It's not sane

I just want some one to say to me

I'll always be there when you wake

Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today

So stay with me and I'll have it made

And I don't understand why I sleep all day

And I start to complain that there's no rain

And all I can do is read a book to stay awake

And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape

escape......escape......escape......

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain

ya don't like my point of view

ya think I'm insane

Its not sane......it's not sane

Okay, I just finished doiing the graveyard shift and I'm OUT OF IT. Two more nights. Then SOMEHOW I have to switch my sleeping pattern so I can work during the day. Not sure how I'm going to manage. SEriously all I wanted when I got home was some motherfucking cherrios.. ANDTHERES NO  MILK!!!/ Omg.. no fucking milk. And no stores are open. worst ever. Now.. I'm going to sleep all day... I suppose I'll have to settle for toast.... and water?. LAme.

Got my hair did. by you knwo who. My bangs are the sexxxx. Pictures to come.. when I dont look like a crack whore.

Good night my loves. Or good morning.


LOVELOVELOVELOVLEOVLEOVLEOVLEOLOVELOVELOVELOVE


FOggy FOggy Fog.

Happy Friday the Thirteenth!!!!!

I've decided I'm starting to use my LJ again.

The job is going okay. I'm starting to remember some of the stuff. So that's good.
I saw Breeann today. It was nice.



Just dance
Gonna be okay
Dada do do
Just dance
Spin that record babe
Dada do do

Stuck in my head constantly.




Fun times... hot times. Like 40 degrees hot. I was melting!

Starting my new job tomorrow. Booster Juice. Basically all I'm excited for is the check. I need to start paying some shit off.
My birthday is in a short while. Meh. I'm kind of excited but not really.
Went to Troy's cabin. It was so much fun. Loved it.
Still, barely any contact with Breeann.

It's weird. I haven't seen my best friend in forever. We had plans today but she decided she wanted to work on her portfolio instead.
I dont understand. Because I'm usually welcome to just come over and bum around while she does what she needs to do. But not this time.
Plus I asked her if she wanted to hang out or not and just to tell me. She said yes. Later telling me she just said that because she didnt want me getting angry like I do.
Well, sorry. I'm trying, man. I'm fucking trying. It's because of you I got help. I saw I was hurting you when I was angry. So here we are. You're giving up on me, basically. Man, I know I get stupid sometimes but please be fucking straight with me. It hurts me more when you do things like that.

You tell me you want to be alone. You've never said that to me before. Is something wrong?

Even if it hurts me, tell me straight up what's wrong. It's just easier.

Off to Europe in less than a week. This is insane.

The more I think about it the worse my anxiety gets. i thought I would be in love right now.. but I'm mostly scared. I'm freaking out when usually I'm kinda laid back.

I'm not sure whats up with me.. but somehow.. its my mom who's keeping me grounded. Shocker.

 32 days until  you know what.

I seriously need to clean my house. It is a fricken sty, man. I'm way too lazy.

I love the nice weather we're having finally. So awesome.

Need more pants- Hate the ones I bought.

DONT FORGET TO GIVE STACY 500 BUCKS FOR MEXICO!!!!!


geeze.

p.s 32 days till you know what.

 Okay, so it's about time I post something.

So there is only 2 months until we leave for Europe. Scary. Next month there are four birthdays so it will go fast. (Well three are on the same day.. but whatever) Plus next month we have to book our flight tickets and buy our train passes. Well technically we could buy our passes now. But idk. Ha.

It's finally summer, kinda. At least its warm. I dont have to wear a jacket.:) I hung out with Kate yesterday, that was fun. We had sushi. Oh, and we had to go to St. Vital to pay her phone bill and while we were there we went into Aldo and there were these boots that I really liked. But they didn't have my size.. but the chick told me I could check online.. I told her about my fear of buying something thats no the right size and she was like well you could just buy two of them and see which ones fit and return the other ones. I was liek thats awesome. Cause you can return them to an Aldo store in Winnipeg and you dont have to send them back!  Plus she gave me a code to get free shipping. This is gonna be bad news.. haha.
I bought a new belt buckle yesterday. It's a Nintendo controller. Old school.

It's almost the weekend! I love the weekend. Stacy asked if i wanted to go for a walk this weekend, so I'll probably go.

Holy shit, I fucking HATE the people I work with. This chick Lara is a fucking bitch so fucking badly. She thinks she's the boss. When she was hired for the same position as me. Just because she's lead on something doesn't mean she can boss me around and be rude. 

she comes up to me and is like " do you have staples?" I was like yeah, do you want some?" She's liek no.. I have enough work right now"
I'm like okay.. and she hands me the stack of papers in her hand for me to staple. Like Hey I have no problem helping someone if they need help or whatever.. but ask me. Don't order me around. And just because she's lead doesn't give her the right to order me around. Even if she had something for me to do.. she definatly could have been nicer about it.
This place is fucking gay. I hate that bitch so much. 

When I confronted her, after I was done, I was like next time you can just ask instead of ordering me around. And then she's like "well I'm the lead  they said that at the meeting blah blah vlah" and I'm like well first i wasn't at the meeting and second you dont have to order me around." 
She's on some sort of fucking power trip or something for no reason. Such bull shit
She's liek " if you have a problem with doing the work then you can go see Don (Our boss)" I'm like " I don't have a problem with doing the work at all but the way you ordered me to do it I have a problem with"

And now if I go to Don I'm going to sound like a fucking retard. I complained once before about her and looked like a fucking dummie. Grrr.

The only thing I'll ever ask of you. You gotta promise not to stop when I say when.

 

Hmm, I haven't updated in forever.
I wish you would be excited for what we're going to do this summer
rather than just be depressed about not being with him.

It's kind of a mood killer.

i wish that just one of your posts were about fucking Europe and how fucking awesome it will be. Post pictures of the Catacombs instead of the space needle.'

I know you miss him. I'm not mad at you for it. i just wish you could equally as happy about going on a fucking trip to Europe.

Okay so yeah. I work with this complete fucking douche. She's such a little bitch. As first she was being nice to me and now she just is a fucker.
I seriously wish she will fall down soem stairs and really really hurt herself.
It's like she thinks she's better than me because I swear and stick up for myself. What a douche.
Whatever. She jsut makes me so pissed off.

 Alright. My week has been a lazy one. There's not much to do here at work so it's been slow. I've decided I'm going to jump on the ol' lose weight bandwagon again. This time it's serious business. I've been trying.. but not really really trying. But tomorrow I'm pretty sure I'm going to buy a exercise bike. Plus I'll ask my Dad if I can take those ten pound weights he has but never uses. I've been going up and down 6 flights of stairs twice daily. I've just started but it's better than nothing. I'm mostly excited for the exercise bike so that I can just ride and watch tv. Maybe I'll get a few more days in at the gym before it runs out. 
When Breeann gets back I'm going to maybe go with her to her gym too. But we'll see.
I've been drinking TONS of green tea..plain. It's supposed to clean out your system. I mean even if it doesn't it's an easy way to get in all the water I need.
I bought some whitening toothpaste and I'm going to make sure I brush as often as I should so that I can have a nice white smile. Not a gross yellow one.
hardest part is cooking at home. It's not easy when you dont really know how. I mean, yeah, i have cookbooks but it's just not that easy.

My co-worker jsut came up to me and told me we may actually have some work to do this afternoon. YAY!

 
Seriously this is stupid. Adam always turns everything around on me. That's bullshit.
Okay so I phone this morning to see what he's up to and what our plans are this evening. We kinda figure things out and then he says " Okay talk to you later". So then I say "are we really gonna talk later or?" and he goes "no, I dont want you calling me six times today"
Like wtf? Totally out of nowhere.Then we're fucking arguing. This is such bullshit he didn't not have to say that. PLUS later he said jsut straight up that he didn't want to talk to me. Fuck him seriosuly . That's completly unfair. he could have found a better way of saying that.

Too bad I haev no fucking friends in the city that would hang out with me short notice... In that case I could actually just fuck off and not have to fuckign see his stupid face.

That jsut fucking gets to me. And I'm even trying to help my anger issue by reading stupid self help books. And for what? So he can jsut fucking egg me on? So stupid. Honestly.. 

Okay, in this day and age are people still so closed minded about "The Older Boyfriend"?
 Especially when you're over 18. Where is the rule that says' Must stay within 5 yeas of eachother to be together' 

Sorry but, I truely believe that age does not matter. 

So let me jsut state what's brought on this rant.

So my boss, he's jsut turned 40. He looks and acts like he's 20 (Not that it matters) and his last girlfriend was 20 years old. Now some people in my office truely believe that's wrong. I don't. When you're 20 and 39 years old you're allowed to be with whoever you want.
My parents married when my mom was 22 and my dad was 38. That's about 15 years difference. Go ahead and tell me you have a problem with it. I dare you.

 So i've got a new job. I start on Jan 14. It's only temp.
Ends at the end of March. So I'll have to find another job then. Meh... This one pays MUCH more than where I am now.. and maybe I'll be able to find another temp job.
Any ways.. It's Friday.. and I'd really like to see Breeann before she leaves again..
So who knows.
Tacos this weekend for sure! Yum.

And oh, this is nice, Adam doesn't even invite me out tonight. He's with his friend says he's going out but doesn't invite me. I ask is it jsut you two going out? and he's like I don't know. Okay. He says he'll call me to let me know.
Oh that's nice. LOVE it.

I wish I had friends that I could jsut call up short notice and jsut hang out. But nowadays everything has to be planned out.

I'm not having a good day today. First, I woke up and I was going to stay home and hang out with Adam..but he didn't want me to hang out. So I was late for work. The day was okay for a while then I talked to Breeannn...who apparently didn't want to talk to me AT ALL. I was half way through a sentance and she was like" OKAY WELL ANYWAYS".. umm okay. she was obviously busy...jsut tell me you're goddamn busy. Don't rush me and cut me off, that's jsut rude. Honestly.

Then, I talk to Adam again...pfft. worst ever. That was a bust. fighting fighting.

So stupid.

I'm assuming this evening is going to be a fucking hoot.
woohoo.